I was a father long before I was a husband or a real man. Although I fathered a child, it would be many years before I knew and began to understand the quality of man necessary to earn such a title. I had nearly zero discipline, even less fortitude, and the tragedy that comes with the blessing of all life made me skeptical and anxious. Poor self-indulgence and the lack of motivation toward personal development raped my virgin future of liberty, independence, and all hopes of amassing an inheritance of any kind. Not so much as a good dream to share with my now aging son, to appease his unspoken necessity for a decisive role model.
After almost a decade of life as an adult black man the only intentional actions that produced tangible results follows; Two living, healthy, and productive, children, both the wonderful consequence of a lasting but completed relationship. It is also worth mentioning that said relationship began with a young mother of two, and mention worthy only to validate my next statement. Although the actual relationship only produced two children, I love and respectfully consider the four as my own. I have also made the conscious decision to distinguish the status of living children as it is of consequence of the tragedy mentioned above. Gone but never forgotten, the passing of a shooting “Star” in the early morning hours of my eighteenth birthday.
I began explaining how I was a father long before becoming a husband. The story of how that happened evolved during the next decade of my life. My thirties and marriage have produced a trio of very attentive energetic girls. They are as beautiful as they are serious about Daddy Fun Time…,
Being a father is one of the greatest responsibilities a man can make for himself. Each day he must commit to seeing it through until his end unless his desire is to give up. This an option far too many have taken due to perceived shortcomings in one direction or the other. Having children in two households, I can make no claim to having all the answers, but I do have the knowledge that comes with experience and trial. Rather you phrase it as self improvement/ personal development, for the sake of my children, I have and will continue to set goals for growth as a man, father, husband, veteran, nurse, and business owner.