Being a father and getting it wrong is the worst. The absolute innocence of a child that depends on you for everything from life essentials, to building up their confidence, but you are not a real man yet, and cannot provide neither! However, you foolishly misuse your voice to strike fear, you commit acts fueled by hurt, and your thoughtless management of finances have direct implications for all those within your reach.
What your man will not tell you is, he never learned how to be a real man. It goes against the entire nature of the creature known as man to share such vulnerability. He will deflect and deny for as long as possible. Then when that fails, he will go into flight or fight mood. It is only a matter of time at that point. Nothing you do will please him, he will begin to sabotage the relationship by starting arguments or cheating, and my personal favorite was… the assignment of duties to somebody else. It goes like this; “It’s not my job to…!” Could be something as common as balancing the check book or something more complex like how to love. “It’s not my job to figure that mess out, or it’s not my job to make you feel better!” Sounds about right? Well, these are not my proudest moments, and it is hard to own up to such behavior.
What your man will not tell you is, that he is lost in a vast darkness of confusion. Nothing is as if he thinks it should be, because the world rewards him for being a man even if he is getting it all wrong. What your man will not tell you is, he is inadequate in more ways than one. What your man will not tell you is, he only knows what media taught him about love. What your man will not tell you is, he does not understand the power of his voice, nor does he comprehend the power of his example as a father or in a relationship for that matter. Furthermore, he may lack in economics and emotional intelligence. For many of us such task was never given much emphasis growing up. So, we grow to be adults, fathers, husbands, and remain so ignorant of these shortcomings, that we will not even assign a patsy to take the blame. Most of the time we become so used to doing thing as describe above that we believe it to be the way of life. This not due to a lack of intelligence, and at the risk of offending you with an excuse… The whole truth is, your man will not tell you is, that he is not a real man yet!